Authenticity is hard…especially for Black women.
I want to preface this post by saying, the Codeswitch Rebellion is not necessarily for corporate professionals who feel the need to code switch to get ahead at work.
This was specifically created for Black women who are looking to build a personal brand and show up in their own business in the full essence of who they are.
Let me tell you why.
When I first started out in my resume business, I watched the market. I saw the ones charging the most, studied the websites of those who I categorized as successful and I mimicked them.
These were old ass white women, yall.
I dressed like them with my blazers and pencil skirts, I used their terminology, I copied the writing style on their websites. I just cosplayed as one of them because I thought that’s how I needed to show up to get the type of clients they got…you know: the corporate executives with that cash.
I went as far as deleting my Facebook that was full of life, portraying a party girl who cussed like a sailor and gave zero fukks. I told my friends, don’t tag me in no crazy shit. I have a brand to protect.
I did that for 15 years.
When I tell you I lost myself.
It became my whole personality as they say.
When I decided to quit that shit (I may tell that story in a future post) I was LOST AS FUKK!
I had no IDEA who I was outside of ‘resume writer’.
And I see the exact same thing in my clients.
We are trying so hard to be deemed credible, respectable, “professional”, and good enough that we sacrifice who we are for the sake of these things because we tie them to our success.
We believe that being authentic will cost us our credibility or opportunities and in some cases, maybe so. But my question to you then becomes, is it worth it?
Trading ourselves in for recognition eats away at our identity and sense of self and I know this first hand.
When it was time to do something different, I had to take a step back, do a deep dive on Melanie and figure out who TF I was again.
So, this podcast and the work I do now is very personal.
The problem I set out to solve is that brilliant, Black women come from corporate and they plop the same corporate ideologies that kept them playing small into their own business.
I don’t like that shit.
Yea, you may need to put on for your boss cuz that’s their territory and they set the rules and determine the standards.
But I’m here to let you know if you have a business, you get to set your own rules and ideally they are rooted in who you are versus who you were conditioned to be.
That was a long ass intro…my bad, but let’s get into this episode!
So, what the fukk is authenticity foreal?
Alignment.
It’s when your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions, and words are aligned…which in turn creates integrity.
Collectively those things create a set of standards that you have for yourself, which shapes your values and moral compass without external forces dictating how you move.
Now if we for whatever reason feel the need to act or speak out of alignment, if we can’t be real, something has set that in motion and when it comes to business, I blame corporate conditioning.
That’s not to say there aren’t instances of masking and performing going on in friendships and relationships that seep into business cuz how you do one thing is how you do everything. Hell, I once had a client who dimmed her light for your husband which bled into how she showed up in her business. Yea…this shit runs deep.
But when you look at corporate, white men set the tone and decided what was acceptable in that culture because it’s their world. They made that shit up, ya’ll.
So after years of all that conditioning, of course we have lost ourselves. We think performing professionalism is the standard.
Hmm…but how come white men like Grant Cordone and Gary Vee cuss like sailors and it’s embraced? They don’t feel the need to keep it “professional” in their own business. Hell, I been in corporate meetings where the VP was dropping F bombs at his staff with zero repercussions…so who is this notion of professionalism really for??
Even down to our hair…
I had a family member do the big chop and when she went into the family business, her mom told her to put on a wig because her hair was unprofessional.
Chile…it be your own people upholding this bullshit.
Wearing our hair how it grows out of hair is deemed “unprofessional” by people who do no look like us.
But when you look up professional it simply states,
“engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as a pastime.”
“a person engaged or qualified in a profession.”
So please feel free to point out how this relates to hair, speech, clothes, aesthetics or anything else we tend to deem “unprofessional.”
It’s arbitrary. Or is it?
I’m here to say, show up as you…the way that makes you proud of yourself…the way that makes you feel confident.
How you show up matters…but not to others.
How you show up should matter most TO YOU.
Because when you show up feeling good, no one can deny your authentic energy. And people LOVE authentic energy. Those who don’t are lowkey jealous…yep, I said what I said.
How you do your hair, how you dress, how you talk, your nails, your make up, your jewelry…if you’re uncomfortable, your confidence will be stifled.
So for me, instead of the muted purple, navy, and tan brand colors, I’m coming in hot with bright colors and island vibes for my business because
1. It’s a reflection of me and
2. I want to show my clients that you can still be taken seriously and make bank by honoring who you are.
You can’t do that if you don’t have a strong sense of self. We dive deep into that concept in our next episode.
Til’ next time, remember: your identity is the strategy.
If you had some triggers, some aha moments, or just have something to say, leave a comment or join us in the chat where its safe to share your truth.
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